| Home recording and general music post from the archived Yabb Recording Website Message Board. Some of the info here may be outdated but many of the audio recording and home studio tips are still good. Note: The only tags I made and attempt to convert are italics, bold, center and underline. So if you see some gibberish surrounded by brackets, just ignore it.
Recording Website Archived Yabb board Post
Febuary 2001 Yabb Message Board Archive
Subject: "Shattered Glass"
by LyricGoddess | 05/14/01 at 15:34:57
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This is a song I recently wrote about my best friend. He's moving far away from where we live now. I was hoping the two of us would graduate high school together...but now we won't! He always feels that he doesn't fit in the town and life we are now and he may even move away this summer. I don't know what I'll do without him. I love him deeply, so I wrote him this song.
"Shattered Glass" by Kimberly Salesky Copyright 2001
You feel as though you don't belong
But I believe that you're really in the wrong
You wish your life was so much different
All you want is an escape to be content.
(Chorus):My life without you will never be the same
When you leave this is what I've gotta claim
My life, my life, my life
It'll fall apart
It'll fall apart
It'll fall apart
Like shattered glass
My world would be so dead and vacant
I feel from "heaven" that you're really truely sent
You are my life, my life, my life
It's falling apart
It's falling apart
It's falling apart
Like shattered glass.
When you leave it'll empty out my heart
I just pray that our friendship will not part
Will you be my best friend forever?
I hope our friendship stays together.
(Chorus)
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Subject: Re: "Shattered Glass"
by old_dan | 05/15/01 at 22:55:59
Very touching. But I think you need to clean it up and polish it a bit.
Here are some changes I suggest (remember, they are only suggestions)
You feel as though you don't belong
But I believe you're in the wrong
You wish your life was different
All you want is an escape to content. (or contentment?)
And for the chorus I like the hook - shattered glass. So you need to repeat that.
(Chorus):
My life without you will never be the same
When you leave this is what I've gotta claim
My life, my life, my life
It'll fall apart
Like shattered glass
Like shattered glass
Like shattered glass
My world would be so dead and vacant
I feel from "heaven" you were sent
You are my life, my life, my life
It's falling apart
Like shattered glass.
Like shattered glass.
Like shattered glass.
(you might even drop the 'Like' for the second and third repitition(sp?))
good song with a lot of emotion. You got any more?