| Home recording and general music post from the archived Yabb Recording Website Message Board. Some of the info here may be outdated but many of the audio recording and home studio tips are still good. Note: The only tags I made and attempt to convert are italics, bold, center and underline. So if you see some gibberish surrounded by brackets, just ignore it.
Recording Website Archived Yabb board Post
Febuary 2001 Yabb Message Board Archive
Subject: Dandelion
by Curtis Cameron | 05/09/01 at 19:51:36
Well,
I know the Stones had a song by this title, but... I couldn't resist. :D
It's not really complete as this is the first draft, but I figgerd I'd post it for review before I went much further.
Dandelion
© 2001 Curtis Cameron
V1
Dandelions on my pillow
Like notes writ from your heart
They make my tears run like the rain
Now that I know we’ve grown apart
I listen for your whisper
In the morning when I dream
But waking find myself alone
And lost and in lonely memories
Chorus
Dandelion on my pillow
Dandelion in my dreams
Dandelion you were mine
Oh Dandelion… come for me
V2
Dandelions on my dashboard
Like wilted words I never said
They make me realize what I’ve done
Their scent, like yours goes to my head
I wonder where you are now
And call your name aloud
This highway leaves me lonely
Alone, I seek the empty crowds
Chorus
Dandelion on my pillow
Dandelion in my dreams
Dandelion you were mine
Oh Dandelion… come for me
Bridge
Dandelion
Like a seed
I’ve blown into the wind
My wish came true, I once had you
But now your gone again
Chorus
Dandelion on my pillow
Dandelion in my dreams
Dandelion you were mine
Oh Dandelion… come for me
Subject: Re: Dandelion
by pafaustine | 05/09/01 at 20:19:04
Hi Curtis,
This is very nice. I think it will work out well.
I had a couple little problems with the first verse. First, "Dandelions on my pillow?" It works fine in the chorus, but this verse is describing a scene. Look at how natural "Dandelions on my dashboard" sounds. They might well be there! Can you use "windowsill" or "nightstand" or something? It's just that right after I started to read this I was thinking, "What the hell has he got dandelions on his pillow for?"
The other thing is that I suspect that "notes writ from your heart" will be heard as "notes ripped from your heart." Not a bad image, actually...
So what's this gonna sound like, Curtis? Could be quite interesting!
Subject: Re: Dandelion
by Curtis_Cameron | 05/09/01 at 21:16:24
Hi Paul,
When I started the first verse, I had in mind that she had left some dandelions on his pillow to say goodbye, but as the song developed, the timeline didn't jive with that, so I had to wonder what the dandelions were doing there myself.
I'm not sure I know yet, but I'm thinking that the sheets and pillow cases have "dandelion prints" on them...
One concept that could work anyway.
Your asking ME what it's gonna sound like? I have no idea! ;) I was hoping someone could tell me. If only I could play guitar better (I have more guitars than I know chords), then I could at least rough out the chord progressions. I've used all the chords I know in recent songs, and I can't bring myself to re-cycle the same old stuff.
I'll just have to wait and see what develops (if anything)with the musicians I'm working with right now.
This song started with a few loose images; "notes on my pillow", "dandelions", and "tears".
Funny what can trigger a song. The bridge was triggered as I walked outside for a moment and right before my eyes was a dandelion gone to seed and I remembered the old thing about blowing the seeds and making a wish when I was a kid...
Fun stuff this songwriting... :)
Curtis
Subject: Re: Dandelion
by Curtis_Cameron | 05/09/01 at 21:19:16
I noticed the first post had a couple of typos, and I've made a couple word changes since then too. So here's a slightly revised version.
Dandelion
© 2001 Curtis Cameron
V1
Dandelions on my pillow
Like notes wrote from your heart
They make my tears run like the rain
Now that I know we’ve grown apart
I listen for your whisper
In the morning when I dream
But waking find myself alone
And lost in lonely memories
Chorus
Dandelion on my pillow
Dandelion in my dreams
Dandelion you were mine
Oh Dandelion… come for me
V2
Dandelions on my dashboard
Like wilted words I never said
They make me realize what I’ve done
Their scent, like yours, goes to my head
I wonder where you are now
And call your name aloud
This highway leaves me lonely
And so I seek the empty crowds
Chorus
Dandelion on my pillow
Dandelion in my dreams
Dandelion you were mine
Oh Dandelion… come for me
Bridge
Dandelion
Like a seed
I’ve blown into the wind
A wish come true, I once had you
But now you’re gone again
Chorus
Dandelion on my pillow
Dandelion in my dreams
Dandelion you were mine
Oh Dandelion… come for me
Subject: Re: Dandelion
by DanGray | 05/10/01 at 08:38:16
Hi Curtis... interesting concept. I have a few quick comments about this lyric:
1. Same comment as about the last two. The story may suffer a bit for the imagery (some call this waxing poetic).
2. There is one of the most cliched lines EVER in this song. And it's in the first verse. Youch! There's a time and a place to use such a cliche', this doesn't seem to be it.
3. comments on this verse specifically:
-I listen for your whisper
-In the morning when I dream
-But waking find myself alone
-And lost and in lonely memories
the third line uses an -ing form of a verb which may be replacing a more conversational and expressive verb-or form of this verb.
4. The song is simple and focused around one notion. That's good.
5. The song needs a bridge I think, but I'm not sure this bridge is up to it. It pretty much just reiterates the ideas of the rest of the song. Also, I like the "like a seed" idea, but it's not finished anywhere. It seems more like the dandelion shoots on the wind are describing her "up and gone" ways to me.
Anyway. I like the concept. Good luck!
Subject: Re: Dandelion
by Curtis | 05/10/01 at 10:56:41
Hi Dan,
LOL
I know what you mean cringe every time I read that rain/tears line too.
I'm still working on that one.
But waking find myself alone
I see what you mean. I knew it when I wrote it, but didn't think it a major deal, but if you say it doens't work I believe you. I see what you mean, too poetic I gotta knock that off!
I re-worked the bridge again last night, but I'm not sure it takes the song any further than the last one, it is essentially the same, just some minor phrasing differences.
Bridge
Dandelion
Like a magic seed
Your flyin’ on the wind
I had you once like a wish come true
But now you’ve flown again
Thanks Dan for the insights. Hopefully I can do something with this.
Curtis
Subject: Re: Dandelion
by Hobes | 05/11/01 at 11:17:34
Hey Curtis!
This is a tough one. I've been thinking about it off and on since the first time I saw it but of course haven't had the luxury of time to comment lately... :'(
First verse - heart/apart rhyme has been overused. Even so, you could pull it off if the rest of it works. But 'now that I know we've grown apart'? - you can do better.
I think you're running into trouble when you turn the image into a simile. You begin with Dandelions and then toss them away. Build on the dandelion image first and I think you might be able to make it stronger.
For instance:
"Dandelions on my pillow
Make my tears run like rain"
(I think the simile might work in reverse - "something something like a dandelion" but I don't think it works as well the other way.)
In the same way, I think you may be giving away too much in the second stanza. In other words, don't be so 'up front' about what the situation is quite yet.
If you use dandelions as a device (showing the effect they have on you), the bridge would be the perfect place to explain WHY they have such an effect on you.
Then you've got the listener following along as the story unfolds - all the time asking 'Why do dandelions make him cry?' etc... - and then BAM - the bridge lets us know what the hell's wrong with the guy...
It's a good idea, but I think you can improve it quite a bit. :-*
Hobes
Subject: Re: Dandelion
by Curtis_Cameron | 05/11/01 at 13:58:11
Hi Bob!
Fancy meeting you here..! :)
Yeah, the "grown apart" line was a sweeper.
I've been mulling this one over, and your post gave me the catalyst to approach it again from a different angle. Not sure about the "au natural" line. I was just fooling around there.
It's still in the beginning stages, but it may work better in this direction. I hope...?
Dandelion
(c)2001 Curtis Cameron
V1
The curtains in the kitchen
Carry flowers by your name
The pillows and the bed sheets
Hold your memory all the same
The towels by the sink
And the paper on the wall
Your name is everywhere I turn
And that’s the name I call
Chorus
Dandelion, My Dandelion
Like a seed blown in the wind
I had you once like a wish come true
But now you’re gone again
V2
Your memory, like the weed
Grows in the strangest spots
No matter all the tricks I try
The memories never stop
Their milk is sweet and bitter
Yet it feeds me all the same
Your flower’s blooming everywhere
And each one is your name
Chorus
Dandelion, My Dandelion
Like a seed blown in the wind
I had you once like a wish come true
But now you’re your gone again
Bridge
I should have known
Our love would wilt
And someday go to seed
Now it seems au natural
That you’d fly away from me
Chorus
Dandelion, My Dandelion
Like a seed tossed in the wind
I had you once like a wish come true
But now you’re your gone again
Dandelion, My Dandelion
Like a seed tossed in the wind
I had you once like a wish come true
But now you’re your gone again