| Home recording and general music post from the archived Yabb Recording Website Message Board. Some of the info here may be outdated but many of the audio recording and home studio tips are still good. Note: The only tags I made and attempt to convert are italics, bold, center and underline. So if you see some gibberish surrounded by brackets, just ignore it.
Recording Website Archived Yabb board Post
Febuary 2001 Yabb Message Board Archive
Subject: Lyric & Real Audio
by Tom Guertin | 05/06/01 at 01:56:40
The response to the original post about a month ago of my lyric "Devil Town" seemed to be divided fairly evenly along two lines:
1. Those who felt that the singer shouldn't be assuming the role of Jesus, that I gave Jesus too much 'attitude', and biblical inaccuracy.
2. Those who felt the lyric worked just fine as is.
I realize some will never be comfortable with this song. Considering everything, I chose to stick with the 'singer as Jesus' approach. I personally find it much more powerful, and if it evokes some controversy, then that's not such a bad thing IMO as long as the message is positive (which it is intended). I agree that I gave Jesus too much of an 'attitude' in the earlier version, so I tried to deal with that accordingly. Regarding biblical accuracy, I consulted a theologian friend who confirmed accuracy (even providing passage references), so I'm not too worried there. I'm not really trying to defend the song. I know a song must stand on its own without explanation, but because of the subject, I thought I should say what I have. This time 'round, although I remain interested in lyrical comments, I'd mostly appreciate feedback on the song as a whole -- before I consider recording better. The RealAudio is my usual one-take acoustic guitar/(barely passable) vocal rendition just sitting down playing/singing into my cheap computer mic. Please try and imagine a full production with a Texas Blues kinda sound featuring lots of slide electric guitar. Full production can do wonders, but is it monotonous? boring? I'd like to know. Here's the lyric/link (should auto open from here) and thanks in advance...
http://members.nbci.com/tguertin/deviltown.ram
DEVIL TOWN
© 2001 Tom Guertin All Rights Reserved
(Verse 1)
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Won't ya say a little prayer for me?
In a blood-stained gown and thorny crown
Gotta showdown with my destiny
(Verse 2)
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Won't ya say a little prayer for me?
I'll show that clown, I'm the man of renown
Gonna make a little history
(Bridge)
When I see 'ol Satan, I'll wipe the smirk from his face
I rose from the dead, to come and take his place
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Lucifer, he ain't got nothin' on me
Oh no...
(Instrumental guitar break)
(Verse 3)
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Won't ya say a little prayer for me?
The horned coward is down, I wear the victory crown
Just made the devil cop a plea
(Bridge - modified)
Lord, that Satan, he left without a trace
He couldn't kill me twice, now I've taken his place
Lord, it's time, to stake our claim
Let's clean-up this town, we need to change the name
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
One last time to set the hostages free
Oh yeah...
(Instrumental guitar break)
(Verse 4)
So, don't forget to frown on 'ol Devil Town
And still say a little prayer for me
So, don't forget to frown on 'ol Devil Town
And still say a little prayer for me
(Tag)
Still say a little prayer for me
Subject: Re: Lyric & Real Audio
by James B. Mitchell | 05/06/01 at 01:57:37
Hi, Tom. The song has a few characterization problems for me if it's supposed to be Jesus. What I mean to say is, I would not guess that the character you're depicting is Jesus, mainly because a few of the lines throw me off that track. You may have heard all of this before, but I'll toss it in anyway just to give you some feedback from a different source.
First, the line "say a little prayer for me". Since we don't have much to go on yet regarding who the character is, I'd eliminate Jesus as a possibility after hearing this line. I just can't see saying a prayer *for* Jesus. It doesn't seem to me that he'd need my intervention with his father -- I'm sure he's got a much more direct line. :^) It also sounds unsure, worried -- people use that phrase when they're worried about something and would like some backup. Would fit fine with a human character, but just doesn't jive with Jesus for me.
Second, the line "to come and take his place" sounds like the character is planning to reign over Hell. Also doesn't fit with my picture of Jesus. So at this point I've got a sort of "mean son-of-a-gun" kind of character in my mind as the most likely protagonist.
Where I really get thrown off, though, is the use of "Lord" in the bridge. First line is ok -- could just be an exclamation. But line 3 derails me completely -- "Lord, it's time, to stake our claim" -- now I've got this Lord character and the singer as two separate people in one phrase. It continues with "let's"... so I'm convinced at this point that the Lord is one person and the singer is another. Maybe you're using Lord to indicate God here -- but it's quite common in my experience for people to call Jesus "Lord". So I'm now certain at this point in the song that the "thorny crown and blood-stained gown" was a red herring -- this isn't Jesus but some self-styled super-hero type.
Hope that helps.
-- James
Subject: Re: Lyric & Real Audio
by James B. Mitchell | 05/06/01 at 01:58:32
Just listened to the RealAudio file. Loved it, Tom! Very cool.
I should have said in the last post that I have no problem with the singer assuming the role of Jesus or singing a song with an "attitude". I like variety, and I like what you've put together here in the music and the overall song. It's just some of those lines don't fly for me as a characterization of Jesus as the singer.
Good work! Great bluesy guitar stuff -- something I admire and something I definitely can't do -- which probably makes me appreciate it even more.
-- James
Subject: Re: Lyric & Real Audio
by DanGray | 05/06/01 at 19:17:08
I always love to hear you play and sing Tom... very inspirational. The groove seems to really work with this piece. There are some "uncomfortable" spots where the lyric and music don't necessarily seem to match - mostly metre I think - some other comments below. Overall, I think you've got a winner here, well worthy of a bit more spit and polish to finish working it up.
DEVIL TOWN
© 2001 Tom Guertin All Rights Reserved
(Verse 1)
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Won't ya say a little prayer for me?
*I never did follow quite why I needed to say a prayer for ya' really... especially since it was a bit clearer later that the character is Jesus*
In a blood-stained gown and thorny crown
*I like the internal rhyme here - but "blood-stained gown" seemed like a mouthful - and a gown is typically a woman's frock in today's english*
Gotta showdown with my destiny
*MY is implied... could probably drop it to match metre better without any impact*
I'll show that clown, I'm the man of renown
*you're the what? heheh not too conversational in an otherwise straightforward lyric. I'd perhaps consider changing to something more conversational - seems like the rhyme may have driven this line*
(Bridge)
When I see 'ol Satan, I'll wipe the smirk from his face
I rose from the dead, to come and take his place
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
Lucifer, he ain't got nothin' on me
Oh no...
*simply the idea that this is Jesus speaking is introduced a tad late IMHO - and why zactly would we need to say a prayer for the King of King's goin' down to devil town? He hung out with some of the rough crowd - I'd be more nervous for Satan in context*
(Verse 3)
The horned coward is down, I wear the victory crown
*horned coward didn't seem to roll off your tongue - may want to look at that*
Just made the devil cop a plea
*the transition from "goin down (current or future) to the past tense is a bit too abrupt for my tastes. I'd change one or the other*
(Bridge - modified)
Lord, that Satan, he left without a trace
He couldn't kill me twice, now I've taken his place
Lord, it's time, to stake our claim
Let's clean-up this town, we need to change the name
I'm goin' down to Devil Town
One last time to set the hostages free
Oh yeah...
(Instrumental guitar break)
(Verse 4)
So, don't forget to frown on 'ol Devil Town
*this statement lacks impact IMHO. I'd stick with the theme of YOU'RE goin' down to devil town and WHY we should say a little prayer for ya*
Subject: Re: Lyric & Real Audio
by Jt | 05/07/01 at 09:48:39
Hi Tom,
I loved the music/blusey guitar on this song! Great work!
But I have to echo James' and Dan's concerns about Jesus singing these words... I have no problem with that basic concept, but there are some kinda mismatched thoughts if that's the direction you want to take the song from.
Good luck with it. Certainly thought provoking, which is a very good thing :-) Good to hear you again!
John
Subject: Re: Lyric & Real Audio
by pafaustine | 05/07/01 at 12:39:03
Hi Tom,
Screw the full production, this is a great sound! As far as the lyric, well I kinda liked the vigilante Jesus image. Who knows, if he showed up today he might just carry a tougher attitude. This would be a terrific live tune in a small venue.
Nice work!