Subject: ballad of the bomb
Posted by: Mr.HumanSoul |
ballad of the bomb
deployed to destroy
with nuclear toys
commands have been recieved.
engines ignighting
rockets rising
feels like its gaining speed
climbing, flying
computers complying
safetys been released
creeping and crawling
stalling now falling
pulled by some gravity
ch: run...run...run...
the bombs are falling down
run...run...run
get the hell out of town
(this chorus is WEAK, any body got a hook i can have
and call my own 
crashing and smashing
the nucleus cracking
releasing energy
twisting and turning
the earth is burning
purging some social disease
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Subject: Re:ballad of the bomb
Posted by: gonzosc1 |
This sounds like it would be an old 80's metal tune. not a top 40 glam metal , but a Metal Church, Forbidden, or some band along that line. any how I would suggest if it were a metal tune like that. the chours would be a tempo change "Ballad of the bomb" repeated. with most metal tunes the point is well made with the rest of the song. no need to imply anymore other than bone crushing music behind the Ballad of the bomb repeat. its looks like you could use the ver before it to link it with the chours.
creeping and crawling
stalling and falling
pulled by gravity............Its the ballad of the bomb.
by changing it around you make a very defined statement.
just my two cents worth
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Subject: Re:ballad of the bomb
Posted by: jamesbmitchell |
I like Gonzo's idea.
Have a few problems with the lines.
"rockets rising" -- too short. Can you re-word it to hit the syllable count mark?
"feels like it's gaining speed" -- doesn't "fly", no pun intended. It IS gaining speed.... maybe something like "straining and gaining speed".
"Pulled by some gravity" -- the "some" sounds like a filler. "Earth's gravity", or better yet, the solution that Gonzo suggested.
The chorus might be something like:
"Down, down, down... the bombs are falling
Down, down, down... the shelter's falling
Down, down, down... 'til no one's left around....
To sing the ballad of the bomb."
Not great (rhyming falling with falling), but might give you another idea to jump off with.
-- James |
Subject: Re:ballad of the bomb
Posted by: gonzosc1 |
Hey James, How about
Engines ignighting
all rockets rising
soon to be mach speed
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