Subject: Please review
Posted by: JMB, MN |
THE MAN OF USED TO BE'S
Jason Bruun jan/23/2002
I've never been good at love
I'm a falure from the start
Everytime I start to care
I seem to break my heart
I know it seems so strange
But it happens every time
When I start to love someone
The heart I break is mine
I'm the lonely man who was loved by you, and pushed you far away
It's the same old thing every time, when I care I run away
And someday I may find someone, who will do the same to me
But right now I'm the same old guy, the man of used to be's.
Last time it was a late night call
I scared her with my heart
I know that she cared for me
It was over at the start
I wish that I could tell her now
That I am doing fine
But I care to much to let her know
And to me I'm only lying
I'm the lonely man who was loved by you, and pushed you far away
It's the same old thing every time, when I care I run away
And someday I may find someone, who will do the same to me
But right now I'm the same old guy, the man of used to be's.
I'm the lonely man who was loved by you, and pushed you far away
It's the same old thing every time, when I care I run away
And someday I may find someone, who will do the same to me
But right now I'm the same old guy, the man of used to be's.
But next time I'm gonna change it all, and never be the same
I'm gonna walk not run, I'm gonna do this the right way
But I'll always be the lonely man, who let her get away
Oh I'll always be the lonely man, who let her get away
I let her get away
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Subject: Re: Please review ok how about some feed back
Posted by: JMB, MN |
| Well I guess I was looking for a little feedback on this song not just for people to look at it, but thanks for looking too. |
Subject: Re: Please review
Posted by: keyboardfreak |
hey man this is rob here. one little criticism bout the chorus, i dont like the "away rhymes with away" thing. where it ses "when i care i run away", because u r rhymin twice, i would change it to
"the same old happens every time, but you want me to stay"
Also the "lying" at the end of the verse doesnt sound right. i would change it to
"and now the fear is mine"
or maybe even finish the second chorus with the same as the 1st
"the heart i break is mine"
apart from all that, THIS IS SOOOO COOL, easily the best lyrics i seen on here. can i write the song please mate? mail me on keyboardfreak2000@yahoo.com coz i LOVE THIS SONG. I can really relate to it too
thanx
rob
it sounds different meaning wise but a lot better rhythmically.
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