Quote from: E_mage on July 21, 2002, 10:39 AM
I am a aspiring singer. I have been singing for a long time and now i have finally decided to try to make a career out of it. I have recently been writing but i find it kind of difficult at times. I will start of a song and my brain shuts down. I sing R&B. I was wondering if someone could help me with this song. Any and all ideas will help. The song is titled " The One":
verse:
JUst in case
he's not what he seems
to be
And he's not
the one you
use to know
he doesn't give
the type of love
you deserve
i feel you
should let him
go
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First of all I'll print it out by line so I can understand it better 
Just in case he's not what he seems to be
And he's not the one you used to know
he doesn't give the type of love you deserve
I feel you should let him go
I like the first two lines. Nice setup. the third line doesn't quite fit tho. It kinda loses the focus you set up in the first two lines. Keep the fourth line, it's a nice summation. Maybe change to - I feel you should just let him go - to echo the just in case in the first line.
The verse (and hopefully the song) seems to me about a love that's gone cold since the partners have learned more about each other. And not liked what they've learned  I'd use the third line to expand that idea more.
good start tho, I can see this as a good r&b song.
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