Subject: Annie
Posted by: Broken Record |
Here's one I wrote several years ago that's due for an update. Any suggestions are appreciated! It's a folk/country acoustic guitar oriented song.
Annie
Oh let me see my Annie in that pretty little dress she used to wear.
Two steppin' down the backroads, oh how I miss that long blonde hair.
Wasn't nothin a boy could do, but fall face first at the sight of her.
I must've been a fool to leave her alone, I miss that girl.
Chorus
Oh Annie
Sweet sweet Annie
I miss that girl
Lord you gotta love Georgia, southern rock and red clay hills.
And don't forget Tennessee, mountain streams and moonshine stills.
But Kentucky's got those wildcat women that'll break your heart and make you blue.
And I can't get past Annie, it's much too late for anything new.
Chorus repeat
Bridge
Redbud's bloomin, fish are bitin, and the days are gettin long.
Honeysuckle sweet, watermelon, peach, sun's bright magenta orange.
This Spring is pretty as any other except for just one thing.
Annie's gone and found another and I can only sing..
repeat chorus |
Subject: Re:Annie
Posted by: old_dan |
Hey BR,
Love the bridge and how it moves into the chorus. Do you have music for this? Reason I ask is a couple of the lines read a little awkward.
And this line needs a little work
But Kentucky's got those wildcat women that'll break your heart and make you blue
I like 'Kentucky's got those wildcat women', very clever*, but 'break your heart and make you blue' is too much of a cliche.
And the next line is a little awkward.
And I can't get past Annie, it's much too late for anything new.
Again, the first part is good, 'it's much too late for anything new' doesn't quite fit. The idea is good, it just needs to be punched up.
* Here's a couple of ideas I rejected:
But Kentucky's got those wildcat women, they'll scratch, claw and play basketball with your head.
But Kentucky's got those wildcat women, they'll make you as blue as the grass they chew. |
Subject: Re:Annie
Posted by: Broken Record |
Hey Old Dan,
Thanks for the great suggestions. I've always been uncomfortable with the "break your heart and make you blue" line.
Every now and then I'll write something, start singing it, and then it gets doubly hard to change, but you're right, that's probably the weakest part of the lyrics.
I do have music to go with this and the phrasing is hard to describe without singing it for you (which you don't want me to do! haha).
Here's another rejected line...
"but Kentucky's got those wildcat women, whose f*rts are sticky like thoroughbred glue." |
Subject: Re:Annie
Posted by: jamesbmitchell |
Quote:| "but Kentucky's got those wildcat women, whose f*rts are sticky like thoroughbred glue." |
Now THERE's a visual I didn't need. 
-- James
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