Subject: Don't Forget Their Names
Posted by: David Alan Cates |
DON’T FORGET THEIR NAMES
Copyright 2002 by David Alan Cates. All Rights Reserved.
I originally wrote this in first person, but the second verse didn't sound right for a male singer, although I guess this could be sung by either. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.
[VERSE 1]
His name is Jeremy (spoken)…..he’s not doing well
Spends a lot of time down at St. Judes
Says the nurses sure are swell
Doctor says he needs more operations
Momma says they gotta have donations
And he says please, someone remember me
[VERSE 2]
Her name is Sarah (spoken)…..she just turned fifteen
Ran away about a year ago
Cause her dad stayed drunk and mean
That cold street smells so rotten
Sure feels like she’s been forgotten
And she says please, someone remember me
[CHORUS]
So please, don’t forget their names
Sometimes little players like them, get lost in bigger games
Just victims of lifes’ circumstance, hoping for a chance
And someday, maybe they can do the same
So please, don’t forget their names
[BRIDGE]
There’s a lot of names of those in need
Who sure could use a selfless deed
You might think your quarter won’t go far
But a life is changed everytime we fill a jar
[VERSE 3]
His name is David (spoken)…..he’s doing just fine
You see, he never got to meet his Dad
And he could never walk the line
Then he found someone who could care
And had a little precious time to share
And he says please, everyone remember me
CHORUS]
So please, don’t forget their names
Sometimes little players like them, get lost in bigger games
Just victims of lifes’ circumstance, hoping for a chance
And someday, maybe they can do the same
So please, don’t forget their names
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Subject: Re:Don't Forget Their Names
Posted by: jamesbmitchell |
Hi, David. This is a very sweet song. I understand your urge to remind people about the downtrodden. It's a worthwhile message and we could all do with some reminding.
The song seems a bit too direct, though. What comes to mind is the currently popular Country song "What If She's An Angel?" (I'm guessing that's the title) It's an excellent twist on the same theme, drawing the listener in by having them re-think the role of this needy person they see in front of them. Rather than a burden, maybe it's someone sent there from heaven to test their character. Suddenly, the person looks different, framed in a different role.
This also reminds me of a saying I heard once -- "Charity is when those who temporarily have more give to those who temporarily have less". It always made me think about the time when I might be grateful to be on the receiving end.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that the message of the song is commendable, but I think you need to dress it up a little in some form that makes it more palatable. I think we humans take in messages like this only when our automatic defenses have been disarmed by hearing it as a fairytale, a myth, a fantasy... some form that pulls us away from everyday life and our everyday reactions.
I think if you took the chorus as you have it written here as your mission statement for the song rather than text of the song you'd be better off. If you said to yourself," My goal is to get people to remember the victims of life's circumstance, now how do I write a song that entertains while accomplishing that goal?", you'd be headed for deeper waters and a stronger song. The trick, to my way of thinking, is to have the end result be that they get the message without ever saying the message in so many words. Message songs are tough work.
And, as always, just my opinion. Worth just exactly what you paid for it. 
-- James
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