Subject: What I Heard
Posted by: David Alan Cates |
What I Heard
David Alan Cates
All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2002 by David Alan Cates
[VERSE 1]
The day I turned sixteen Daddy took me outside
I couldn’t believe what was parked in the drive
A bright red Chevy, made in sixty-nine
I looked at my Dad and said, is that really mine
[CHORUS 1]
And I heard the screeching of the wheels
The high school girls and their high school squeals
And I heard the roar of the engine opened wide
I heard the boys saying ain’t she cool
Baddest car in the whole dang school
And I heard Becky Johnson ask me for a ride…..
When Daddy smiled at me and said, here’s the keys, just three simple words
But man, oh man, what I heard
[VERSE 2]
On a Sunday drive Becky won my heart
From our first kiss we were never apart
One night I got on my knees
And asked Becky, would you marry me please…..
[CHORUS 2]
And I heard the thunder in the sky
The fireworks bursting like the 4th of July
And I heard the bells ringing out the news
I heard the laughter through the years
And her soothing voice calming my fears
And I heard her say a thousand I Love You’s
When she looked at me and said, Yes I will, just three simple words
But man, oh man, what I heard
[BRIDGE]
Ain’t it funny how, when words are said
A million thoughts run through your head
Moments come and disappear
But memories are made from what you hear
[CHORUS 3]
And I heard the pitter patter of little bitty feet
The ice cream truck going down the street
And I heard his first wish upon a star
I heard them calling out his name
Batting third at the high school game
And I heard his joy when I gave him his first car
When the Doctor said, it’s a boy, just three simple words
But man, oh man, what I heard |
Subject: Re:What I Heard
Posted by: songstress51 |
this lyric is very well done. I really like the way you tied this together.... it is not easy to do a cronological song like this and it be cohesive...
Thanks for sharing it. Do you have music for it?
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Subject: Re:What I Heard
Posted by: jamesbmitchell |
Wow, David. Excellent work. I can't see anything that could be improved in any of the lines. The song flows well, makes sense, the meter's smooth, the line lengths fit perfectly, and, on top of it, it's a really nice story. :^)
The only thing that sort of leaves me flat is the hook. It's a little weak, I think, especially as a title -- "what I heard". It just doesn't sum up the great lead-up to it as well as it could. Maybe try something like "But that's not all that I heard" vs. "But man, oh man, what I heard". Just a thought.
If you do stick with the current hook, I'd go for the title "Man, Oh Man, What I Heard". "What I Heard" by itself is very neutral emotionally and very vague in its content. The "Man, oh Man" really adds a lot to it. :^)
Really great song! If there's anything you're actually not satisfied with, let us know the specifics. I'd be happy to study it some more and see if there's anything I could throw in as a possible spark for you, but after two reads through it, I really don't see anything to do with it.
There are always different choices that different people would make for certain words, but nothing sticks out -- it's finely crafted. This is really slick, really polished. Fantastic work!
Thanks for sharing it.
-- James
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