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Subject: "She Knows What She Does"
Posted by: jwitheriterieg
Folks,

Here's my second offering to the board.  The music is a simple blues (64 beats to the minute) in a Champlin style.

She knows what she does
But she ain’t aware of her mistake
She knows what she does
But she ain’t aware of her mistake
She knows this guy’s blue
From betrayal this guy don’t know how to take

She knows what she does
Though the one she found ain’t all that great
She knows what she does
Though the one she found ain’t all that great
She knows that I’m mis’rable
Cause I know to her, if that, I’m second rate

To Philly I go
Leavin’ behind the simple minds and the sad news
And here they don’t know
In my head, lyin’ in bed, I’m still singin’ the blues

(Organ solo)

To Philly I go
Leavin’ behind the simple minds and the sad news
And here they don’t know
In my head, lyin’ in bed, I’m still singin’ the blues

Because she knows what she does
But she ain’t aware of her mistake
She knows what she does
But she ain’t aware of her mistake
She sees, though, I’m mis’rable
From betrayal that I don’t know how to take

Hit this one hard, guys.  Thanks.

Subject: Re:"She Knows What She Does"
Posted by: old_dan
Nice. A couple of things tho.

I like

She knows what she does
But she ain’t aware of her mistake


but the closing line

She knows this guy’s blue
From betrayal this guy don’t know how to take

doesn't fit. Repeating 'this guy' really doesn't add anything, just clutters it up. The real problem tho is it sounds like you're trying to find a rhyme rather than express how you feel.
She knows this guy’s blue
ain't bad, but I think you can come up with something better to follow that.

The chorus is cool. I'd make a small change tho. By dropping the between behind and simple and adding all it tends to make the line a little more snappy. Plus it fits better with In my head, lying in bed.

To Philly I go
Leavin’ behind simple minds and all the sad news
And there they don’t know
In my head, lyin’ in bed, I’m still singin’ the blues

I also changed here to there. Not sure who you're talking about. 

And remember, this is just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.

Subject: Re:"She Knows What She Does"
Posted by: chadg
jwith,
I'm feeling a bit dis-connected here when I read this.
The 'big mistake' is used often and I don't really get it - I could just be dense.

I also thought that the chorus line should read 'and here they WON'T know' - but I was unclear as to the who and where you were going for.

The word 'betrayal' stands out to me here.  I can't quite put a finger on it.
I got interupted and gotta run - sorry.
chad

Subject: Re:"She Knows What She Does"
Posted by: jwitheriterieg
Chad,

The song is from the perspective of a fellow who is in love with a woman (overused, but it works)
and the idea of him being betrayed by that woman.  You'd kind of have to be there to understand.  Sorry.
The "mistake" is the woman taking another man over the fellow
James

Subject: Re:"She Knows What She Does"
Posted by: tph801

Nice blues tune.  I don't understand the "cause I know to her, if that, I'm second rate" line.  Why is the "if that" in there?
The line works w/o it IMHO.

I like the chorus a lot but I would change "and here they don't know" to something like "to where they don't know",  that's just my opinion  but  "I don't know"   Good blues lyrics. 
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