Subject: "She Knows What She Does" Posted by: jwitheriterieg |
Folks,
Here's my second offering to the board. The music is a simple blues (64 beats to the minute) in a Champlin style.
She knows what she does But she ain’t aware of her mistake She knows what she does But she ain’t aware of her mistake She knows this guy’s blue From betrayal this guy don’t know how to take
She knows what she does Though the one she found ain’t all that great She knows what she does Though the one she found ain’t all that great She knows that I’m mis’rable Cause I know to her, if that, I’m second rate
To Philly I go Leavin’ behind the simple minds and the sad news And here they don’t know In my head, lyin’ in bed, I’m still singin’ the blues
(Organ solo)
To Philly I go Leavin’ behind the simple minds and the sad news And here they don’t know In my head, lyin’ in bed, I’m still singin’ the blues
Because she knows what she does But she ain’t aware of her mistake She knows what she does But she ain’t aware of her mistake She sees, though, I’m mis’rable From betrayal that I don’t know how to take
Hit this one hard, guys. Thanks. |
Subject: Re:"She Knows What She Does" Posted by: old_dan |
Nice. A couple of things tho.
I like
She knows what she does But she ain’t aware of her mistake
but the closing line
She knows this guy’s blue From betrayal this guy don’t know how to take
doesn't fit. Repeating 'this guy' really doesn't add anything, just clutters it up. The real problem tho is it sounds like you're trying to find a rhyme rather than express how you feel. She knows this guy’s blue ain't bad, but I think you can come up with something better to follow that.
The chorus is cool. I'd make a small change tho. By dropping the between behind and simple and adding all it tends to make the line a little more snappy. Plus it fits better with In my head, lying in bed.
To Philly I go Leavin’ behind simple minds and all the sad news And there they don’t know In my head, lyin’ in bed, I’m still singin’ the blues
I also changed here to there. Not sure who you're talking about.
And remember, this is just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.  |
Subject: Re:"She Knows What She Does" Posted by: chadg |
jwith, I'm feeling a bit dis-connected here when I read this. The 'big mistake' is used often and I don't really get it - I could just be dense.
I also thought that the chorus line should read 'and here they WON'T know' - but I was unclear as to the who and where you were going for.
The word 'betrayal' stands out to me here. I can't quite put a finger on it. I got interupted and gotta run - sorry. chad |
Subject: Re:"She Knows What She Does" Posted by: jwitheriterieg |
Chad,
The song is from the perspective of a fellow who is in love with a woman (overused, but it works) and the idea of him being betrayed by that woman. You'd kind of have to be there to understand. Sorry. The "mistake" is the woman taking another man over the fellow James |
Subject: Re:"She Knows What She Does" Posted by: tph801 |
Nice blues tune. I don't understand the "cause I know to her, if that, I'm second rate" line. Why is the "if that" in there? The line works w/o it IMHO.
I like the chorus a lot but I would change "and here they don't know" to something like "to where they don't know", that's just my opinion but "I don't know" Good blues lyrics.
|
|