Subject: She's Growing On Me
Posted by: chad |
She’s Growing On Me
© 2002 – Chad Gray Smith
[verse 1]
She does crosswords and talks about God
When she comes in the Seven-Eleven
She’s so smart –I think she sees heaven –
Through an algorithm
[verse 2]
And this is my religion
The graveyard shift till nine
We don’t have much in common
But, she helps me pass the time...
[chorus]
She’s growing on me
She’s growing on me
Like a stone washed with my denims
She’s growing on me
[verse 3]
She says love like life is just a game
And the rules are like confessions
Those who know them well can win
And never learn their lesson
[verse 4]
And this is indecision
I could never disagree
While her eyes pierce and prick my skin
‘til I just concede...
[chorus]
She’s growing on me
She’s growing on me
Like a penance for my bedlam
She’s growing on me
[bridge]
Like anyone who’s troubled
By those things they have not seen
I lie awake and picture her…
Till faith becomes a need
[chorus]
She’s growing on me
She’s growing on me
Like a stone washed with my denims…
She’s growing on me
She’s growing on me
Like a penance for my bedlam
She’s growing on me
.
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Subject: Re:She's Growing On Me
Posted by: Hobes |
Chadster!
I don't know where you've been hidin', but it must be someplace where the muse is hangin' out cuz this one is golden IMHO.
The only thing that tripped me up a little was the "like a stone washed with my denims" in the chorus.
"Till faith becomes a need" is pure. Just pure.
hobes
BTW, do you have a current e-mail addy? If ya do, please send it to me bucko!!! |
Subject: Re:She's Growing On Me
Posted by: chadg |
Hey Hobie,
Nice to see you're still out there. Thanks for the kind words. I've never been thrilled with the first verse...but, I was trying to set up a scene quickly without wasting words being descriptive.
As far as the 'stones/denims': that was originally written as 'like a stone cast with my denims' - which may work better to establish the premise of 'casting stones' (for that stone washed feeling).
Hey, I updated my profile (I think I did so correctly), but I'll email you anyway.
Thanks,
chad
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Subject: Re:She's Growing On Me
Posted by: Jt |
Hi Chad,
Sorry for my delay in getting my thoughts together on this. Been a busy week.
I must say.... the song is growing on me  Some typically masterful lines in there. Two major nits, though - both of which have been mentioned.
First verse: the first two lines are great. But the last two just didn't work for me. The rhyme scheme doesn't match the rest of the verses, and, frankly, the algorithm line just didn't make a whole lot of sense to me.
As for the chorus... I like your "casting stone" idea. But you're making a comparison here between "her growing on you" and the "stone" which I don't think holds up. You could say "Like my stone washed denims/She's growing on me." I'm not sure that conveys your meaning, but its technically a more correct simile.
As usual, its a though provoking and enjoyable read. Good work, and keep working at it.
John
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Subject: Re:She's Growing On Me
Posted by: chadg |
hey John,
thanks for the look. I agree with you on both counts. The chorus could possibly be fixed with "like a stone-wash for my denims" - but the first verse needs quite a bit more. I'll keep plugging away until I get a grasp on it.
thanks,
chad
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