Subject: Sorrow to the Stones w/audio
Posted by: Hobes |
I've been so scatterbrained lately, I almost forgot...
Sorrow to the Stones
[URL]http://www.soundclick.com/bands/thewendels_music.htm[/i]
I grow tired of vacant eyes
That pretend to understand
And offer condolences
With every outstretched hand
As I speak my words of pain
They nod as if they care
And forget them when they leave
As if they were never there
Chorus:
Let my voice fall on the silent rocks
Leach the pain of living from my bones
Since no one left has ears to hear
I tell my sorrow to the stones
To the stones
The stones they don't pass judgement
And patiently they listen
With all the tears of the world
In the morning dew they glisten
I kneel down and spill my soul
In solitude I seek
To find my solace there
From those who cannot speak
Chorus
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Subject: Re: Sorrow to the Stones w/audio
Posted by: Steve_Biederman |
Check out JPF. I just got to listen after no luck last night. I commented there but again I'll say great!!!!!
Little Stevie B. (the "fifth Wendel") |
Subject: Re: Sorrow to the Stones w/audio
Posted by: RobertK |
Well, what did Mick and Keith have to say, then? 
All kidding aside:
Death closed her mild blue eyes,
Under that tower she lies,
Ne'er shall the sun arise
On such another!
Still grew my bosom then,
Still as a stagnant fen,
Hateful to me were men,
The sunlight hateful!
From "The Skeleton In Armor" by H.W. Longfellow
I was always affected by that verse, and it came to mind immediately upon hearing your song.
I listened several times (you know I love your music) and I think the lyric and phrasing could use a tweak here and there (condolences and outstretched, for example, caught my ear).
I think there's a timing continuity issue here too, with the singer giving the impression that he's in the present tense in the second verse, yet also during the chorus.
I'd like to hear a stronger commitment at the start too. "I grow tired" seems like holding back from the extreme sorrow and yes, even anger, that the singer seems to want to convey. (Notice the "hateful" of the above).
Also, in a way the singer is being too hard on his targets in telling us that the people only pretend to care and forget immediately, when in fact it's often difficult to face someone who is grieving and the helplessness is real in people, an impotent easily mistaken for ennui - the folks actually might care and perhaps aren't forgetting (how does the singer know they're forgetting immediately?)
That this might be the singer's impression is fine, though, and understandable... but the lyric should allow for that and put the burden of the singer's own presumptions more squarely on his/her shoulders.
I hate to offer specific suggestions because I think we all like to do our own rewrites, but here's the tack I would follow:
I hate their vacant eyes,
They couldn't truly understand...
And the sympathetic sighs
That come with each offered hand...
Why should I give them my words of pain,
Then watch them nod, as if they care?
I'm not in the mood to explain,
And there's nothing I want to share...
As usual, sweep it or keep it. It's a wonderful music and a meaty topic, worthy of your mettle.
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