Subject: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: GaryUsinger |
Hi Folks,
My name is Gary Usinger, and I'm new to this version of The Freedom Exchange.
This is a first draft of a country ballad, and I'd very much appreciate any ideas or suggestions on how I might improve it.
My thanks in advance!
Gary
http://garyusinger.iuma.com
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If I Say So Myself
Verse 1
If I say so myself
I've been happier since you've been gone
If I say so myself
It's been easier letting you go
Than to keep hanging on
I've convinced myself we're both better off,
And that you feel that way, too
And if I say so myself,
I might even believe that it's true
Verse 2
If I say so myself
I don't miss your embrace every night
If I say so myself
I don't wake up crying
From dreams where you're holding me tight
I've accepted that moving on with our lives
Is what we both needed to do
And if I say so myself,
I might even believe that it's true
Bridge
Now, it's not like me to have trouble facing
The problems we all sometimes fear
And as you can see, if I say so myself
Those problems will just disappear
Solo
Verse 3
If I say so myself
I'm doing the best that I can
If I say so myself
This sad situation
Will resolve itself the best way it can
Eventually, it'll dawn on me...
That I'm really living without you
And If I say so myself
I'll fin'lly believe that it's true
Coda
Yes, If I say so myself
I'll fin'lly know that it's true |
Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: Frodo |
Uh, you need to improve that? That's better than anything I've ever written :(
Seriously, I don't see much that needs improvement. Perhaps some of the other talented people here can. |
Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: GaryUsinger |
Thanks, Frodo
There's always room for improvement! 
I posted this at another site where it was pointed out to me that I had rhymed "can" with "can" in the third verse. I hadn't seen it at all, and that's the great value of these boards!
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to respond!
BTW, I went back through seven pages on this board trying to find something of yours I could return the favor & comment on, but found no complete drafts????
Cheers,
Gary |
Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: Frodo |
Hey Gary, sorry for taking so long to answer but like everyone in America (and the world) I've been a little distracted.
I'll try to get something posted soon. Here's one I started and never finished:
The Unfinished Song
I started to write a song,
but I never got it done.
It wasn't very long,
...................................
btw, why doesn't bone rhyme with done?
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Subject: Re:
Posted by: chadg |
Hey Gary,
this flows well and I like the way the hook is used - I can sense that your delivery will be important in making it the intended payoff as you close the chorus.
2nd verse, 5th line - needs condensing IMO - Meter wise.
I couldn't help but think about another angle or twist on the hook as I read this (something like 'If I may repeat myself').
Good to see you out and about.
take care,
chad
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Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: jamesbmitchell |
Great song! I haven't commented because I've been busy on other threads... probably too busy (sorry, everyone). ::)
I've read the song several times and I like all the details, but I kept thinking the hook was used just a little too much. I couldn't point to any place where I thought it was over-used, though. I finally came up with an idea.
Since the hook appears several times in every verse, I think I'd recommend pulling it out of the bridge and re-writing the last two lines of the bridge. By that point in the song, the audience has heard the hook 6 times already, and twice in the ironic pay-off sense. Even if you pull it out of the bridge, they'll still hear it another four times before the song is over. 10 times is plenty, IMHO. Maybe Chad's line about repeating would work well there, precisely because you have repeated the hook so many times.
That's all I see to nitpick about... it seems so polished all the way through. The words flow, I can hear a tune and a band behind it each time I read the lines. There's nothing else I see that could use improving! That doesn't happen very often -- I'm pretty nitpicky. Awesome song! I bet no one will have a problem remembering the title. ;)
-- James |
Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: GaryUsinger |
Hey Chad & James,
Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for your comments!
I've made a few small changes to this since I posted it, and a rough mix and lyrics are now up on my IUMA page at www.garyusinger.iuma.com if you'd care to give it a listen & a look. Somewhere along the line it also stopped being a ballad...
I DID try to facetiously address the fact that I was repeating myself a lot with the third line of the bridge, but maybe it doesn't come across the way I'd hoped...
Chad, I'll be in touch with you... "Gold" (the studio version) & "Do We Really Need To Know" will show up soon!
Thanks again, guys!
G |
Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: jamesbmitchell |
WOW... LOL... that wasn't what I was expecting! The music caught me by surprise.
I was expecting something more ballad-like (which you warned me about) and something more country-sounding, just from the tone of the words.
The music is light, upbeat, good music.... but I think it detracts from the lyric. My personal preference would be for something that highlights the words more by framing it so that the words are the key point. The music is familiar, comfortable, pleasant. But the words aren't.
By the way, I wanted to compliment you on your keen sense of pitch. It's so nice to hear a demo where the voice is right on the mark when singing the melody. You have a very nice voice and a very accurate voice -- the accuracy is something that I'm beginning to think is a pretty rare thing.
Just my opinion... hope it helps. ;)
-- James |
Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: RobertK |
Wow, what a great job!
Unlike James, I like the uptempo treatment of the bittersweet lyric (it's worked before, e.g., Runaround Sue, Last Kiss, Different For Girls, The Girl's Song, etc., etc., etc.).
Before I heard the music I wanted to recommend changing the "we" related lines to "I/me", so as not to have the singer presuming too much about the singee.
But once again, when the music plays, it doesn't really seem to matter, and the impact of the song, in toto, is that it works in a big way.
Musically, I immediately got a hint of proximity to "I Need A Lover Who Won't Drive Me Crazy", but as I've mentioned before, few are the songs I hear which don't contain a chord progression or few bars of familiarity with other songs.
Well done, indeed - a very large tip o' the cap on this one. |
Subject: Re:
Posted by: Jt |
This is terrific, Gary!
I think the upbeat air of the music, with the more downbeat message of the lyric, makes a great juxtaposition. Fun, and thought provoking to listen to.
I was most impressed with the solo. Wow! Very, very cool. And I agree with James - your voice matches the tone of the song perfectly.
I love your production. Since this is a learning, as well as critique board... would you share with us how you produced this? (Hardware/software used, how many takes, did'ja kick the wall or computer once, twice or more... etc.) I'm trying to learn this stuff (don't know exactly why  ) and any hints would be appreciated.
Great work, Gary.
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Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: Hooper |
Hey Gary,
I enjoyed listening to this one and think you're doing a great job with the performance and production. The song has a good 'attitude' about it.
I REALLY wish you would mosey over to the SubT forum and see Silent Bob about getting this one sent in by the 22nd deadline for the SubT-8 compilation. I think it would fit in fine and help round out the variety of songs on vol. 8.
regards,
Hoop
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Subject: Re: "If I Say So Myself "
Posted by: GaryUsinger |
James, Robert, John,
Thanks for checkin' out the song!
James, I think I know what you mean, and this song started out as a lyric-driven country ballad. But I started screwin' around with it, and before I knew it, I found myself having a lot more fun with the uptempo version, so... Also appeciate your compliments on the vocals... I wouldn't call my sense of pitch "keen", as I've been known to hit some real clunkers... But I try to do my best!
Robert & John, glad you enjoyed it... The basic chord structure IS pretty well traveled, but what the hell... It was fun!
And John... Below is probably more info than you wanted, but it became an interesting exercise for me to try to reconstruct what I'd done, so I got a little carried away. In any case, I hope at least some of it helps!
Thanks again, guys!
G
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Hardware used includes a Korg X-5 keyboard which provides the drum, bass, piano & fiddle sounds. Those parts were recorded as midi data into a Roland MC 50 Mk 2 sequencer, where they could easily be tweaked as needed.
Started with just a bass & snare drum figure to provide the basic beat throughout the song.
Then added piano, which went down on the first take, but which did get quantized to correct small timing errors. The piano part was copied to another midi channel, and the two parts were panned hard left & hard right.
The bass part came next and took two or three takes to get right. This was also quantized, & the velocity cranked throughout... A sequencer's version of compression!
Went back & redid the drums now that I had a better idea of the arrangement. Did bass & snare first, then ride cymbals, then crash cymbals. Everything quantized.
Added the vocal at this point, when key changes can still easily be made because you're only dealing with midi tracks. Vocals & non-midi stuff are recorded onto a Korg D-8, an 8-track hard-disc recording-studio-in-a-box, which is synced to the sequencer via midi. I did two takes on the vocal, using the second one, but also kept the first one, which in the mix wound up being used to double the vocal in places, most noticably on the last verse. The mic used was a Shure Prologue 16L condenser, and the vocals were recorded using the D-8's "limiter" effect.
Acoustic guitars were next... two tracks, both playing the same thing, panned hard left & right. Used the same mic & effect as the vocals on a Washburn D100S dreadnaught. Song is in the key of E, but was easier to play in D, so I put a capo on the 2nd fret & bashed away!
Out comes the electric guitar, and is plugged directly into the D-8. The "theme" parts were done first... (The intro & between-verse parts) Used the D-8's "rock" distortion effect on an Ibanez GXR 20, which is a dual-humbucker guitar. Took two runs through the song to get the parts down. Sounded kinda thin, so I tried doubling , but that didn't work this time. Tried various EQ settings, but that didn't work either... Didn't know what to do, so I figured I'd go ahead & put the solo on, & come back to the the "themes".
Solo took four or five takes to nail, but it's a single complete take, not a compilation of tracks, so I was pleased with that. The effect on that is the D-8's "auto-wah".
While thinking about how to beef up the "theme" parts, I remembered that I'm SUPPOSED to be writing country songs... so I thought I'd try some synth-fiddles playing the same part as the electric guitar to fill those parts out. That did it, so I doubled 'em up, panned 'em left & right, and added them to the mix.
The mix you've heard is a rough headphone mix. I was working late at night & didn't wanna wake anybody up, but I liked what I was hearing... so I went ahead & burned it just for reference. The next day it sounded better than I had expected. I'm gonna do some more mixes, but I could live with this one if I had to! |
Subject: Re:
Posted by: Jt |
Thanks, Gary,
Very instructional! These "little" things you do, as second nature, are "HUGE" tips for us beginners.
Thanks for taking the time to share them with us.
John
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